Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
