They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
