he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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