non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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