Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you still have your period?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
