Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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