someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize