Can i not drive my cunt home
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize