I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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