her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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