So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
These tits shall not be calmed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
