My first STD was from a foam party
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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