Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
