hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I party with great urgency now.
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