ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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