I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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