Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
