I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
