are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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