Please, let me fuck your mom
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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