I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
