Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
