Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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