omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
