I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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