I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
