I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
