so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We are all done wearing pants today
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
