dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
