i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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