I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
