I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
