Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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