I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
