note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he thought i was a dude.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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