I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
