still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The Olympian is in my bed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
