I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
