areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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