So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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