It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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