So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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