Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize