At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Naked Twister starts at high noon
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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