there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
