There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
