i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
