so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
