Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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