He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
