He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
