2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
