honey bunches of taint.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
