before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
