Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
