You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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