Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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