Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
