went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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