her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize