You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
