Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i out mim tonsoeep
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
