She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
