ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize