just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
