there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Boobs are out for the taking
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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