He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
