Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
