Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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