I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
