you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
