I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
