she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
