she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
